A new week.....

Had a SUPER fun party for Peter and I's engagement this past weekend; it was so nice to have all the people I love surrounding me to celebrate!

So...my goal for this week is to research San Diego galleries, see which ones are being progressive and showing contemporary stuff, and to make a calendar with all of the opening dates of shows that I want to go to. I need to get out there...see what's going on...be part of the art world instead of closing myself up in it.

I've been working on the collaboration piece that I have going with Julie Rais, as well as an experimental piece - I have some photos that are, in essence, stop-motion of one of my models, and I'm going to try to capture each step of the 'pose' on a different piece of rice paper (REALLY thin) and then try to layer them all up so you can kinda see the 'motion' of the pose...we'll see how it goes. Will post photos soon....

Other than that, just getting a little nervous - I haven't heard anything from Laguna yet as to when I am allowed to move into my studio up there, when orientation is, etc.....trying to start prepping myself!

Obstacle Course

I've been perusing friends' blogs, and Amber George perfectly stated the biggest thing that I am running into right now - obstacles to creativity. Now, I'm not saying that there are things happening that are totally keeping me from being creative or making art; sometimes, these are self-imposed things, like when I just can't seem to get myself into the studio to work.

In just getting back from a long trip to Mexico, I have found that there are lots of little things right now that seem to NEED to get done, just for my peace of mind. I'm sure that these things can wait, but it sure doesn't feel that way! I do this allll the time, and am very respectful and admiring of other friends who seem to put themselves to work and use their time wisely. Now, what's my problem? Why can I seem to find a million other things to do BESIDES work on art?

The hardest thing for me is STARTING something. Once it's going, the excitement sets in and I am happy to get to it as much as I can. But right now, with a blank slate looking at me it's the most daunting thing ever. I make excuses, like "I'm just not inspired right now" but we all know that if I just started then I'd get into the groove of it, it would start to happen more often, and I'd be over this hump.
Frustrating. I think grad school is going to kick my arse.

Inspiration....

In looking around, one artist in particular that I really admire (Audrey Kawasaki) has a WONDERFUL website and blog. It's one that I especially have found helpful and inspiring...I really like that she posts her raw sketches. She also shows images of her pieces in progress, talks about her trials and hardships, and *amaizingly* sells small batch prints and other interesting artifacts.

Audrey Kawasaki
website: http://www.audrey-kawasaki.com/
blog: http://i-seldom-do.livejournal.com/

I sure do like my dot dot dots....

Grad school hasn't started yet, so in the meantime, I'm going to comment on thoughts that I have prior to the whole experience - inspirations from other artists/websites/blogs, readings that have prompted me to reflect on my role as an artist or person, and thoughts on art that I am currently creating.

Right now, a friend and fellow artist - Julie Rais (www.julierais.com) - and I are working on a really exciting collaboration. I do pretty realistic pencil/figurative work and she does bright, happy, colorful organic abstract pieces....we are planning on swapping canvases and seeing what happens! We are in the midst of Try #1 - we each started a separate canvas. There are no 'guidelines' or things that we can/can't do, and we weren't supposed to create something with the other person in mind. Just start something, get as far as it felt like we had reached an ok stopping point, and then we trade. Now I am in the possession of the painting that she started, and vice versa.

We talked about how to proceed - we need to simply react to what is on the canvas - we can manipulate the image, work with it or change it, add to it, etc ....but it was important to say that we didn't need to work about 'hurting the other person's feelings' with whatever we did to the image. Then, once we get further along and have added our own personality to the piece, we trade AGAIN! Once the person who originally created the piece gets the chance to react again to what the other person did, and work with a little, the piece is done!

We've talked about creating other pieces that will have varying stages of each of our styles added to them - like ones with substantially more drawing than color/paint, and ones with small amounts of drawing/pencil added to the organic shapes and colors. The point is to try to create a body of work, between the two of us, that is almost like a giant circle - in the sense that it transforms from my work into a combination of both of our styles, into Julie's work, and then back into my own work again. We're both really excited about the prospect, and where it will take us with our individual art goals and art styles. It's helping me get more used to making art and not being 'protective' of it - knowing that I can always draw it again, and being ok with taking risks with it - like handing it over to someone else to do with it what they want!
:)

And the verdict is.....

All of this has finally brought me to a conclusion....

These three thoughts that I had the other day have led me all in one direction - they are things that I am going to be dealing with NOW and while I am in grad school - sooo....documenting the process that I go through as a person and an artist while I am in grad school, and hopefully how it leads to the future decisions about where my life will go, is the direction that this blog with take.

Whew.

I don't know if anyone is actually going to follow along, if it will help anyone besides myself; but if in the end, it DOES only help just me, if it does only allow me to make a little organized sense out of the next few open-slate years of my life, then I'm pretty happy with that.

3 thoughts....

So far, in thinking about may last posting's comments, I can think about three things that I may want to talk about on my blog....

1 - A friend took a class recently on how to 'recover' her inner creativity...I oddly have the same book that the class was structured around (good ol' Mom got it for me years ago) and so I started taking a look at it today. I am leafing through it, not necessarily doing all of the 'activities' and mental checklists that it asks me to, etc...but it makes some interesting points about us as creative individuals.... Am I truly letting my creativity come through? Am I allowing day to day things to become blockages and excuses for why I don't make art, for why I don't MAKE TIME to make art? Which leads into my 2nd thought....

2 - Am I actually using all of my potential as a creative person/artist? When I was teaching, I would have said NO - I tended to teach more than make art, but I guess that is creative too, just in a different way. But part of my unhappiness stemmed from the fact that I was NOT letting myself, or rather, MAKING the time to make art and be creative in a was that was fulfilling to me. I feel like I am finally trying to do that now, but am I my own worst skeptic? Am I sabotaging myself already? As I sit here, I always can think of a million other things that need to be done before I can let myself go make art. WHY? Again, this leads to my 3rd and last thought....

3 - The same friend who convinced me to work on this blog told me something else that was very important - I need to make art a PRIORITY in my life. Just like teaching was at one point (and may be again, who knows), just like it is to make dinner or make sure the errands get ran, just like it is to go to the gym, hang out with my fiance and friends, I need to decide what position ART has in my life. Is is going to take over the priority that teaching has held for the last 6 years? I think it should. I am starting grad school for my MFA in the fall and it is going to make a lot of changes to what I accept now as my artistic style, persona, and goals....if I DON'T give art the priority it deserves, then was the heck am I even doing this for? I'll never have really given this thing a healthy chance in that case. I need to put art first, even if it feels selfish (aaah, there's that word again). These types of opportunities don't come along that often. This is my new goal for the year. Whew.

PS - How long can I make these posts? HAHA! When do you get bored.....and not read.....

Hmmm........

I haven’t written on here in quite a while, and a good friend of mine has prompted me to relook at WHY I have a blog – and to make some USE of it! But I’ve been told I need to FOCUS and have a reason why I write and what people can expect to read and find here. So here I am, trying to figure that out….I’ve had a lot of time to myself the last few days to really look at where I am right now (so to speak, internally, not physically; but that, too, has bearing! I digress….) I am in Mexico, on a fishing/vacation trip with my boyfriend – strike that, with my fiancé – visiting with friends and reveling in some amazing turns that life has taken recently. I KNOW I don’t want to use my blog to simply talk about what’s going on with me…..but I think that what I have learned, discovered, and been through in this past year is really going to make an impact on whatever it is that I do end up writing. You can ask a few people around me, who have had to put up with me from day to day, and they will tell you I am not the same person I was last year. Yes, I am, outwardly, but due to the fact that one big physical thing happened to me and lots of really amazing, helpful, and supportive people happened to me after it, I think that inwardly I am a very different Rachel right now. I am surer of what I do and do NOT want; what ‘selfish’ really means; that guilt doesn’t have to factor into everything; that there are things I can and things that I cannot control, and the things that I cannot control need not rule my life; that there are people in my life who support me and people who don’t; that I truly know what unconditional love is on multiple fronts; that living in the present moment is one of the hardest things I’ve ever tried to do; and that, for the first time in my life, I am actually excited about the fact that I have NO IDEA what will happen in the next 2, 5, 10 years...I WANT to leave the path as open as possible so that whatever happens to come along will only be an open door and not a ‘distraction’ from what it is that I think I ‘want to do’. I don’t think I ever would have said that 5 years ago.

ArtWalk!

This year, I will be displaying art (some recent, some old) in San Diego's annual ArtWalk.

It's held in Little Italy on April 24 and 25, from 11 - 6 each day. My booth will be on Fir St between Kettner and India.

Come say hi; I'll be hanging out with two other wonderful artists and friends who are sharing the booth with me....

Julie Rais - www.julierais.com
Jessi Matthes - www.jessimatthes.com

Halloween

I totally forgot to post this back in October, but I thought it might be fun to still put up. This past Halloween, my colleagues (all art teachers) thought it'd be fun to dress up as Andy Warhol's "Marilyns". The photography teacher dressed up as Warhol himself. Here is our pic next to Warhol's original. Yes, we look a bit scary (but that's what happens when your makeup is watercolor paint!) but it was really fun. Each individual backdrop behind each of us is actually a painted cardboard cutout that we wore around most of the day! :)

Sunday, Oct 25

Just finished the 'studio'! What used to be the garage now feels like a cozy room that I will actually want to work in...new carpet, wall space to draw on, storage space, lighting, drapery, you name it~

I'm lining up more models! If you know anyone...I can't pay much (can do a trade, too) but am looking for female models (over 18 of course). They do not have to be professional art models, anyone will do if they are NOT shy and willing to work with me!